Marriage.
As a little girl I knew it was an inevitable step in any woman's life, like going through puberty, or learning to make a really good sandwich. As I got older, expectations began to form. Disney princess movies were my vice. And then chick-flicks. I was writing song after song about my future husband?? I named our children and wrote short stories about them?? I envisioned a future with a boy in my 11 year old primary class??? I was pumped.
Reality: I was a horrible dater always. I would like a boy until he liked me and then remember that I was so scared of dating and back off like he had the black plague. It was exhausting. Like watching JoJo's season of the bachelor exhausting. I really pulled at boys heart-strings and then wrote songs about it, T-Swift style. I even fainted before a date once, I was so nervous. I would publicly apologize, but yeah RIGHT do they read my mormon girl "married life" blog! (I'm surprised YOU are! God bless you for giving another Mormon girl a chance!)
Anyways...as a teenager I remember laying awake at a sleepover with my best friend Aryn, talking about our green-eyed, brown-haired dream boys. Almost three years later..we may not have married men with the same exact features, but we did both marry a Connor with an "o." The jokes never end. ;)
So. I'm sure you are all pondering my overdramatic title like it's a beautiful soap opera. Yes, it's true. I didn't marry my dream boy. (I'm not just saying this because Connor is allergic to dogs.) Meeting Connor felt a whole lot like a very normal experience on a very normal day. He was just a very nice, charming boy from Utah with great taste in clothes. Very tall / blonde / 10/10. I was very impressed by him. I was also very impressed to serve a mission. You can figure out how that all went down here, but I got a beautiful rock on a certain finger now so don't you fret about the end result.
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| I made Connor trespass to take these pictures lol |
A few months after we started dating. Connor's little sister - most likely in the process of sizing me up- said, "so do you feel like you're dating your dream boy?"
What I think: Woah...no. I don't. My my dream boy is nothing like Connor!!
What I say: Ohmygoodnessyesheissoamazingandniceandkindandhandsomeanda;sldkfa;sldkf. (gotta make a good impression on the in-laws!!)
The things is...I realized my "dream-boy" was not actually a real human!! He was a creation from fairytales and that scene where Hillary Duff and Chad Michael Murray kiss in the rain on the bleachers!! My dream boy was illustrated and imagined. I always believed in soulmates and by the grace of God, that I would find mine, but I have learned that you cannot create your own soulmate in your mind.
I have noted the exact ingredients / characteristics in my lifelong best friend to build a life that I absolutely need.
He came with a logical mind that levels out my sporadic dreaming.
He came with a selfless heart that serves me through back massages, cooked dinners and good listening.
He came with a silly personality that fills my days with weird voices and nerf gun wars.
ALSO HE IS SO, SO, SO GOOD LOOKING. His blue eyes seem to change every day and his dimples are what get me out of bed in the morning.
Marriage isn't a fairytale because you have to worry about paying rent and not putting too much flour in your mom's potato soup. And guess what?? I still cry like every day!! But I have someone who levels me out and balances my life. He doesn't get mad if I get mascara tears on his favorite t-shirt and he keeps me from buying a $1200 dog every other week. We do everything - I mean everything together and the past five months have been full of more laughter than ever.
So...you...if you remember anything from this post, remember this: trust that God will supply the right person in your life and trust yourself to see the best in every person. Try not to let your own expectations get in your way. Your dream boy can move to a land far, far away and be replaced by a wonderful 6'4 angel who has submitted to eating gluten-free cookie dough for the rest of his life just for you.
Good luck!!
xoxo
Hallie
