Let's talk about mental illness....because gosh dang it, sad tweets & pinterest quotes just don't do anything for anyone. People everywhere are struggling and we should talk about it with each other instead of hiding in our rooms and listening to Secondhand Serenade while strumming minor chords on their guitar (RIP 2014 me).
In the peak of my anxiety & depression (junior year of high school) my mom brought home a picture book from the good ol public Library. It illustrated anxiety as a monster that corrupted a girl and took over her emotions.
Anxiety was it's own thing; a monster. What a concept.
I had never seen anxiety as something separate than myself. Up until then, I was the monster. Something was wrong with ME. My emotions lived at a theme park and my tears were a result of too many lonely nights where I binge ate frosted flakes. I thought I was getting fat...and that everyone that stared at me for more than 2 seconds hated me. I thought my AP english teacher only talked to me because she felt sorry for me. I thought that boys who wanted to date me would end up realizing I was crazy emotional. So I didn't date.
I WAS UNSTABLE and I didn't like myself. It's exhausting to hear about, right? And yet, did you know that 1 in 5 adults in the US experience this or similar symptoms?????? That's a lot. Hide yo' kids, hide' yo wife. But really don't. Sit them down and talk to them about their feelings because ANXIETY IS SO ISOLATING. THEY NEED TO TALK.
Honestly, to get vulnerable with you, I have had days on days in a row where I couldn't get out of bed. I have taken sick days from work just because the thought of getting out of bed causes my hands to shake and my head to ache. During these times I become so, so desperate to distract myself. Perhaps this is why people hide behind their video games or their phones with the social media that depicts a perfect, structured life.
I have not mastered the art of mental illness (if you have...hit me up let's get lunch.) I just want to share some ways that in the midst of this chemical imbalance, I have learned to really like myself...or even to just feel decent. And I want to hear other people's ways so that we can combine forces and realize that we're okay. We're don't have to live as slaves to our emotions. We are more than anxiety and depression.
Step 1: CRY (if you want to.)
I believe in tears. My sister in law once told me "let the tears fall - it helps your acne." Amen sista. Cry it out and if you get mascara stains on your pillow?? Well HELLO...why else would they invent tide stain remover??? If you don't like to cry because it makes you feel worse, I get that. Live your dreams homie and proceed to step 2.
Step 2: GROUND YOURSELF
Become aware of your senses. Think of the thing you are sitting / laying on (your bed or couch or whatever else.) Think about how it is grounded on a solid foundation and how that foundation goes into the core of the earth which is strongly supported by rocks and weight and structure. Look around and name two things you can smell, five things you can see and three things you can hear. It helps you come out of your mind.
Step 2: VALIDATE YOUR EMOTIONS
I am so passionate about this!!! This is so important!! You have to ride your emotions like a wave. The only reason you're having an anxiety attack at all is because they are pent up inside of you. The "suck it up" mentality is going to screw you over so STOP and identify what you are feeling. (IE: I am probably having anxiety because of 1. hormones 2. lack of sleep 3. Taylor Swift hasn't come out with a new album in 3 years etc.) When in the midst of an anxiety attack, I have found it very helpful to validate truths that I am sure of, including my triggers. IE: "I always get anxious when I am in a large group by myself. I am anxious because my grandpa is going to ask me about my college plans at every holiday until I am dead. I am anxious because my favorite show isn't airing on netflix again until October. ;) I have a CHEMICAL IMBALANCE IN MY BRAIN. THIS IS NOT WHO I AM. Anxiety can lead you down paths that cause you to doubt everything. I say things like, "I know my husband loves me." "I know that God helps me literally every day." "I know must be hot because my friends are hot." etc. ;) REPEAT THOSE THINGS. Force yourself to believe them. I mean FORCE.
Step 3: GO IN NATURE & WORK IT OUT
I get that not all of us are chaco-wearing nature enthusiasts. Some would attempt to take the elevator in a power outage. Many would rather stay in bed and eat chocolate chip cookie dough. I get it. But I don't support it....because going outside is SO CALMING AND GOOD FOR YOU. DO IT. Grab your dog - if you don't have a dog then just steal your neighbors; I'm sure the dog won't mind - and go on a hike! Walk around the block. Do some squats. Turn off your phone for a bit. You will never regret it. This one is hard because it requires a lot of motivation. Fun fact: it works like 98% of the time.
Step 4: WHEN IT'S OVER, MOVE ON
Something that my husband has taught me, is that he doesn't want to talk about anxiety all the time. He says that it is a piece of his life, but does not need to be his entire life. If anxiety is a piece of your life - even if its just when you have to get your cavities filled - don't victimize yourself. Don't make the problem bigger than it needs to be or your mind is about to flip out 100x more. So what helps with this one? Live. Call your mom on the phone. Talk to someone!! Pray!! Gather pieces of hope via conversations or books or maybe take a nap (that one doesn't work as well for me because it makes me feel worse - but for some it totally resets them.) Do something that reminds you that you are alive. Don't go on twitter. Don't lay in bed mindlessly. Treat yoself!! Most of all, thrive for human connection. You are not alone even though you think you are.
No really, you aren't.
After that - Live. Adventure. Explore. CREATE. Even if to you, that means getting out of bed and trying something new for breakfast. I try my best to do one thing a day that scares me. Beforehand - I hate it so much. Afterwards - I am in sync with myself and I am a little bit stronger.
Don't be afraid to fight for your life back and fight for your brain space because your mind is YOURS and that monster does not belong there.
I would love to hear other peoples healthy coping mechanisms!! Let's start talking about this.
xoxo
Hallie Jo
