Part 2 - we fall in love.

(Click HERE to read pt 1. how we met) 

Our relationship was different. 

(That's what all the people say, but here me out.) 

It started off on an immediate bittersweet note with me planning to go on a mission and Connor having just come home from his. He was still a bit socially shy and I was young and naive. But we adored each other. As a wise man - Jackson Sellers - once said (at our wedding speech) - "they were whipped." 

The day after we had our first kiss was Monday October 5th, 2015. We talk about and treat this day like it's a national holiday. It was the day we had an incredible conversation and came out of it knowing we'd get married. It's really hard to write spiritual and sacred experiences into words and only like ten people outside of our immediate family know the full story, but it happened and it brought us closer to God than anything ever had. That night I wrote in my journal, 

"We started talking and the spirit exploded…. it is so special to me that it is something I will only share if I feel prompted to. Tonight Connor and I received a strong confirmation that we are supposed to be together. To doubt it would be to doubt that breathing would keep me alive."

Pretty intense, I know. ;) 

So we continued dating and in our hearts we both knew that we would end up getting married. We didn't know when, we didn't know how. It was a beautiful, incredible - yet such a heavy weight to carry around. Let's be real, it was terrifying. We were just 18 and 19 year old kids trying to do what was right. We didn't tell anyone anything for three weeks because we didn't know how. I didn't tell my parents, my closest friends or anyone. I just talked to God and Connor about it. Because of our experiences, our relationship was different immediately. Now, we weren't just two kids in love, but we were two kids with a responsibility that we wanted so, so bad. I think that because of this, the months of us dating and being engaged were really hard. But let's not talk about that yet. ;) More of the lovey dovey stuff please!!

October 13th, 2015

In the initial "we just started dating everything is amazing" phase we were still full-time students caught up in the daily grind. I had a schedule that started at 7:45 am and included me walking across the frozen abyss that was campus. One Monday a week after we started dating I woke up at 6 am to get homework done before class.  I had that "I just got hit by a train three times feeling" when I was surprised to get a text from Connor, who didn't have to wake up for hours. 

“Call me back if you get this in the next five or ten minutes” he said. Now I was assuming he would ask if I wanted a ride to class or something and I was like AWWW BABE, but I called him back and he said “in 30 seconds, open up your front door” and then hung up. So then I waited, exploding with anticipation and then there was a knock at the door. Connor was standing there with a full bouquet of flowers and a note and the first thing he said was “I was gonna leave it by your doorstep, but I wanted to see you." 

Oh how I adored my new boyfriend.

Connor and I were as different as two people could be. I was a dreamer. He was a realist. I follow my heart, he follows pure logic. Connor likes sports and mountain biking and I like writing music and photography. I overheard one of our best friends once saying "I'm not sure how Connor and Hallie work together...she's so energetic...and he's so chill...and yet it just does." It does....because we've made it a top priority to always view our differences as strengths. It wasn't easy at first, but now it's become a solid habit. Some would say - "power couple of the century." Others (me, myself & I) would say "more of a power couple than Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie." To that I say...word. Except Connor is wayyy hotter than Brad. 

Our semester was filled with highs and lows, selfies and sweatpants, new adventures and a whole lot of coldstone ice cream. It was a beautiful time. 

The hardest trial we faced during our dating months hit us one night like a ton of bricks: this was three weeks after October 5th. People still didn't know about the marriage thing. Scary. 
It was a rough day, straight up. We had a lot on our mind so we decided to sneak onto the married housing in Rexburg and break into their hot tub. It was a perfect break. On the drive home we were feeling so relaxed, talking happily together about the future when one of us, I'm not sure who, said 
"what if we didn't go on our missions?" This shocked us both. It was almost a joke until it became a serious possibility. For thirty seconds I felt completely at peace with the thought of staying. And 
then:


No one knows we want to get married and we're so young also we just started dating holy crap this is insane and also I am supposed to receive my mission call this week I can't do this I am supposed to serve the Lord and will he be disappointed in me?? I'm so flighty all I do is change my plans always but I feel like this is right I just know it's going to be so hard and I have a huge decision to make and I am exhausted and I need to call my parents now and I can't thinks straight holy cow what do I do what do I do??? 

My brain. would not. shut off. 

I spent the next three days feeling like a...chicken with my head cut off?? Not sure what that's like, but that feels right. I read every general conference talk related to missions vs. marriage. I called my parents; I told them everything. They met me with unconditional support as they always do (angels. that's what they are). Connor and I talked a lot. He gave me space to decide if I would stay or go. Each day I was afraid to check the mail and see a big white envelope because I would have to open it and that was scary. Every one was telling me to make my own decision and I just wanted someone to TELL ME WHAT TO DO. That's when I called Serena Valyn Howard my best friend since forever. She told me "Listen. I know you're going to stay and I know that you know it too. It's what you want, Hallie."
Somehow that is exactly what I needed; someone to vocalize my deepest desires.
 So I sealed the deal, published this blog post and cancelled my papers (which thankfully hadn't been assigned yet due to general conference.) 
I chose to stay. 

That weekend we went to Montana. Connor met my parents (spoiler alert: they loved him) Everything was happening and the future was terrifying. We had no idea what would happen, but we held on tight to each other because it was the best thing we had. The days went by so slow, but the weeks rolled by until fall turned into winter in Rexburg.  We went on group dates, we hung out with our incredible and supportive best friends sweet, sweet Katie + Jackson. 

All the while we were learning and learning and learning about each other. With all the changes, it wasn't long before both of our deepest and most personal reoccurring struggles surfaced; our old friends, anxiety and depression.

Learning about each other just two months after dating was one thing, but us choosing to get married young, dating against what friends were saying, forgoing our missions AND dealing with mental illness was heavy stuff. I wish I could go back now and tell myself "it'll be okay, Hal. Breathe." 

As the semester neared to an end, the elephant in the room was "what are we going to do in January?" We would both be off-track from school and we wanted to get engaged soon. It was a big, scary puzzle. Looking back, I can't remember how this idea surfaced and how I was ever brave enough to go through with it, but I decided to start looking for live-in nanny jobs in Utah so that I could be near Connor. 
It took months to find a job where I could live in, but one miraculous night I facetimed with a family who was a perfect fit for me. Apparently they agreed and we set the date for me to move in. 
So, we would move to Utah. 
And that was that. 

pt 3. PROPOSAL STORY coming soon!!!!!