Part 1 - we meet.

Back when we were normal & not obsessed with each other lol

us - senior pics

The first time I heard about Connor Clifford Bush was when my best friend at college told me about a boy who broke her heart. 
So, in other words, this is the story of how I broke girl code for time and all eternity. 

This is how it begins: 
Towards the end of summer 2014 Connor left to serve a mission in Huancayo, Peru. Meanwhile, I was making a paper chain to hang in my room that embodied the amount of days I had left in high school. 

The other day my dad reminded me of a conversation we had around this time.


Me: "I do not want to go to BYU, I do not want to get married young and I do not (of all things omg) want to become a Mormon girl photographer!"
ha. hahahaha. haaaaa.
Life is weird.

In January 2015 I graduated high school early. Most people's senior trips are cool and exotic, but mine was just my two best friends and I kickin' it in Rexburg, Idaho. It turned out, this was a little sneaky way for God to whisper "you need to go here" because I couldn't shake the feeling all weekend. And it wasn't just the cute Mormon boys that changed this small-town Montana girl's perspective. But...that helped. ;) 
The semester started three weeks later. I magically had been accepted, bought someone's housing contract for sale, enrolled for classes and off I went. 

 It was the best spring / summer of my entire life to date. I spent a 32 hour bus ride across the country with dozens of new friends as I went on a Church History tour. I sang my songs at open mic night. I had dance parties in the parking lot every Wednesday night at 9:00. I met friends who knew the Hoedown Throwdown. And they were BOYS!! (Oh Heath. Oh Troy.) I loved college. 

Meanwhile, life for Connor was on a whole different plain. Around April he found out he needed to come home early from his mission for medical reasons. Any adjustment from a mission is hard, but missionaries who come home early fight some tough battles no one else can see. Connor came home, let himself heal and had to create a new post-mission life for himself. 

He worked as a lifeguard all summer and bought a mountain bike with his life savings because he was going to spend the next two years of his life snowboarding and mountain biking and that was it. lol. 

God was like nahh. 

Connor really felt that he needed to go to BYU-Idaho. And so, two weeks before the semester started, he applied. And he got in. Housing was almost totally booked, but Heath,  the angelic human that he is, sprang the news that he slipped Connor's name on the housing wait list months before and not only did he get him a contract, but they got to be roommates. My best friends at college all lived in that apartment. Magic was in the air. That, or God just really has a say in our lives.

It was time for us to meet. 

Connor's first day of school OOTD. the cutest.

I was a pretty nervous / excited to meet this infamous "Connor Bush."

So here's what went down: 

Me: *walks through the door of apt. 118. Sees 6 foot 4, blonde sandy-haired, perfectly dressed Mormon boy*

Me: Hi! You must be Connor! I'm Hallie *goes to shake hand* 

Connor: *throws his arms around me* I'm a hugger! 

It took me months into dating to realize...he is sooo not a hugger.

"Yeah...I just thought you were beautiful." (says Connor now.)

Despite our charming first interaction, Connor and I didn't talk for the first couple weeks of school. We both dove into our busy college schedules. It wasn't until one day at a ward social we both found ourselves towards the back of the line and conversation flowed. We probably talked for 15 minutes (long line ya) before we happened to talk about getting married. To each other. It was totally an accident.

Me: So....you're brother and Heath's sister are married? Dang. I want to be part of this!

Connor: Okay! Well...you could marry...

Me: You? 

*casual laughter* 

Haha that's right young Connor and Hallie. You keep laughing. You laugh your way right into dating and then right into marriage. HA. 

Okay so SPOILER ALERT, we're married now and you all know it, but when we met I was an eighteen year old girl who was almost done filling out her mission papers. Not exactly in the mindset for a beautiful boy to enter my life. And yet, when the boy is Connor Bush, you change your life. Trust me...I'm a pro. Only, I wasn't always a pro. But I'm getting ahead of myself. 

The picture I used for my mission papers in September

Connor and I were both going on dates like the good Mormon kids we were. I had been going on dates with a couple of guys, but I was always afraid of being in a committed relationship. One night about a week after the ward social I get a call from Heath. I was feeling pretty netflix-y and stressed out about going on a mission. That night a boy I was going on dates with had his professed his "I like you a lot let's date" to me and I was feeling overwhelmed. Luckily Heath is a persistent little bugger and two phone calls later I finally answered. Before I know it, I'm in a car with Heath, Troy, Connor and a few of our friends headed off to the sand dunes. We had a solid group, a ukulele, a blanket and a sky full of stars. It was a little chilly and we all started snuggling. Somehow (ha) Connor and I found ourselves next to each other (magic is in the air once again??)

So we snuggled a bit. And it was magic. And our legs were touching on the way home. Not like I had butterflies or anything. In the unlikeliest of places, we deep talked the entire car ride home. We talked about he came home early from his mission and how I wanted to serve. It was such a good talk with such a good person. This feeling of trust came out of no where. It was powerful. I felt like I could have told Connor about my American Girl Doll videos from middle school and he wouldn't have judged me. 

When the night came to an end I pulled Troy aside for some boy advice. Connor also happened to be present. I asked them, "Do you guys think if you like someone you're supposed to have butterflies?"

I told them about the boy who called me that night and how I was struggling to feel butterflies. I conveniently left out that I was really feeling them for Connor. 

Of course Connor had felt them for me and assured me that "I should feel butterflies." 

As we hugged goodnight, he said "we should finish our talk sometime." 

I smiled and said, "tomorrow?" (RIP any other boy) 

So the next day we had our first date. 

Our first date included: frozen custard, apple orchards, discovering a magical garden and running across the street to sit on a hill and watch the sunset. It was the best first date of my entire life. We talked about the gospel and I told him things I didn't usually tell people. The trust was palpable. We had such a good friendship. 

I guess I thought our friendship was just too good because I friend zoned him a week later. 

UGHHHH I KNOW. I KNOW. *hundreds of face palms in a row* It was ridiculous that I friend-zoned Connor because nothing had happened, but I had some close friends who were returned missionaries who assured me that I should not be dating anyone if I was preparing for a mission. I was scared and I was also very malleable and conformed to their thoughts, rather than examining my own feelings any further. 

Anyways, I pulled the mission card. Of course. 

I didn't date a lot in high school because I had a hard time feeling like it was right. I never, ever felt butterflies for anyone. It was my vice. Funny after finally connecting with a boy I wanted to sprint the other way. Nice one Hal. 

Even though I friend zoned Connor that night, we still acted like good friends and deep talked over grilled cheese sandwiches. Buuut things were weird. Friend-zoning would do that to you.

Lucky for us - and our relationship - we already had plans that weekend to head down to Utah with Heath and Troy to stay with Connor's family and go to general conference. How was I blessed enough to take a road trip with three beautiful boys? I'm not sure I'll ever understand!

Connor, Heath and I in Salt Lake City - conference weekend

The first night in Utah Connor and I didn't talk at all. I went to bed that night realizing that I was so sad. I couldn't even sleep. Plus - I was in his house! I felt totally weird. That night I realized the most pivotal thing I would ever realize: I was letting the most incredible guy slip right through my fingers. And for what? I needed to do something and I needed to do it soon. 

So the next day - at general conference - I turned my flirt on. (I know what we're all thinking - women are SO BIPOLAR. Well to that I say AMEN SISTA) I gave Connor a magical general conference back scratch. He returned one to me. Good things were happening. 

Let me summarize the rest of the weekend: There was a lot of  PJT (prolonged joint contact) and a whole lot of me not being able to keep my eyes off Connor. I was just like "he's adorable and I never thought I'd date anyone like him, but I think he is the most perfect boy in the WORLD." The butterflies were still there and they felt so good. Meanwhile Connor was like "what" but also like "okay" *heart eyes*

On the car ride home, Heath was driving and I was in the passenger seat while Connor sat behind me. He had his arms around my chair and we were stalking his family on instagram because why not when ZINGG suddenly my hand just reached up and grabbed his. I think I was just as surprised as he was!! We stayed like that for the rest of the three hour car ride, probably making everyone involved uncomfortable. But my heart was so happy. 

As soon as we got back to Rexburg, Connor asked if we could talk (because of the whole me being the bipolar thing). So we went to our spot on the hill. You know, the one from our first date? On the drive over he held my hand and I looked down at it shyly, smiling to myself.

"I'm not used to this." I said.

Post magical-back scratch at general conference

Connor and I talked and talked and talked. I shared more things with him that I usually never shared. I told him I had always had to fake "feeling it," with boys but not with him. I told him about my mission and how scared I was. I told him I was sorry. He smiled down at me and I could tell that he just understood. It was like peace was just radiating from his every pore. This is one of Connor's spiritual gifts. I looked up at him, wanting him to know how much I cared. "I'm sorry I sent you mixed signals, Connor, but I promise that I won't ever do that again." 

And then: cold noses, warm lips, happy heart. 

My last first kiss.

It's hard to explain, but it was nothing short of a spiritual experience. 

I have no idea how I ended up on that hill, looking over the kingdom of Rexburg under a sky full of stars with Connor Clifford Bush, but I knew it was right where I needed to be. I never wanted to let him go because it felt so right. Nothing had ever felt so right. 

And so our journey begins. 

(Click HERE to read pt 2. how we fall in love)